Ray couldn’t help but realize what he said was stupid and immature. He didn’t mean it. He knew one day he would have everything he wanted. Whether alone or not. All that matter was that he needed to find himself and be happy.
“I know.” said Ray as he walked out the door.
He went down the staircase. He knows not many people use the stair case. Ray went down them. He was upset, but part of him felt at ease. He knew Jared would be a part of his life.
After making his away outside he turned towards the hospital and smiled. He wasn’t sure if Jared could see him, but he needed the closure. It came about in the wrong way, but Ray was determined to move forward not back.
Jared could see something in Ray’s eyes. He wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but there was at least the tiniest hint of closure that Ray definitely needed in order to move on. As the summoner turned to leave his room, Jared inhaled deeply causing the heart rate monitor to speed up before slowing back down as he exhaled. He didn’t have any other words to say to him. He knew that whatever words needed to be said and whatever that was left unanswered had been answered after that moment between the two of them.
Jared dropped his eyes to the blanket covering his legs before he watched Ray open and close the door behind him. “Bye, Sunshine…” he whispered, sighing before turning his attention back to his cast. The surgery would be starting in an hour or so at that point, so hopefully Jared would be able to go home after that and sleep everything away. He was really hoping Ray was going to be okay, however. He knew the green eyed male had the tendencies to act drastically. He nodded, as his intuition almost guaranteed he’d be alright, though.
He looked back at Jared and smiles. Thinking he would be okay. Now that he could tell it was over. Jared didn’t show any love, besides a friendship. He knew that Jared would never be able to show him the love he once did. He smiled.
“Don’t worry I’m okay.” He said.
Ray didn’t want to just walk out and look like a jerk. He walks over to a the window and looked at Jared. He wanted to say he I am mad and doesn’t get why you let Trevor do this to us. But he had a feeling it was more to do with Rune then Trevor.
Ray walked over to Jared. And looked at him. He smiled and just knew this was good bye for them.
“Jared. Thanks for making me see being a lone is where I should be.” He said as he walked to the door.
His eyebrows automatically furrowed at Ray’s final words before he started towards the door. “Ray!” he shouted after him, feeling slighted. He never meant for Ray to come to a conclusion like that. He never meant for Ray to think suicide or that loneliness were options for him, in fact, he wanted Ray to find another guy that would be there for him all the time and could love him the way Jared knew he wouldn’t be able to.
“Wait… I never said you should be alone, Ray. Where in the world did you get that impression? I know for a fact you’re going to find someone ten times better than I am, and you are going to be head over heels in love with him. I don’t want you to ever think being alone is right for you. I don’t think being alone is right for anyone. I definitely think that you shouldn’t let relationships control your life, but don’t go thinking you need to be a loner in order to do anything or accomplish anything. Who knows? Someone may need you more than you need them.” Jared was looking Ray in the eyes the entire time he explained this to him, hoping Ray could see the logic that Jared was trying to get across to him.
Ray saw Jared’s reaction. He didn’t want Jared blaming himself. He didn’t know what he should do. Sit there and not do anything or try to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault. Even though it was because of the break up. He wants to die to protect Jared from Trevor.
“It wasn’t your fault. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted Trevor to not hurt you any more. He is using the people you love to hurt you. I know we are over. I understand. I hate it has to be this way, but fuck it.” he said.
Ray then stood up and made Jared look at him. He couldn’t help it after that He kissed him. With everything he has. He loved Jared to much and the pain of not being able to kiss him wasn’t standable. He never thought he would be able to do it again. Then it clicked it his head he was wrong for doing that so he pushed himself away and looked away from Jared. With a few tears going down his face.
“Ray…” Jared started, shaking his head and cutting him off. He knew it was his fault. Ray didn’t have to try to convince him otherwise or to try to attempt and make Jared feel better. “You killing yourself isn’t going to keep Trevor from hurting me anymore… If anything he could use that against me even more. He’d use the fact that it was my fault that you did it against me. He’d use your death as well as Rune’s approaching demise against me… I’ll be alone… and it will be all my fault. So please…. just don’t worry about Trevor, Ray, because no matter what, he can find a way to use just about anything.”
As Ray continued, paused then came towards him, Jared could feel his heart pick up. As Ray’s lips crashed against him, Jared decided moving his hands would result in more pain to him. He simply let Ray kiss him, kissing him back very lightly as if to let him off gently. He wasn’t going to push Ray away because he didn’t want Ray to be more upset than he already was. One last kiss couldn’t hurt, right? Like a good-bye to the relationship and onto the friendship. As Ray realized what he was doing and pulled away, Jared caught his wrist. “It’s okay, Ray.” That was all he could manage out. He didn’t know what else to say.
Ray sat down. looking at Jared then he looked down. He didn’t like to lie, but he knew it would be best to lie. He smile honestly though. He couldn’t help but to smile at Jared. Yes he wanted them to be together, but Ray knew in his heart it would never happen.
Ray questioned, “Isn’t just okay good?”
He knew it wasn’t and he knew Jared wouldn’t take that as a answer. He just didn’t know how to put everything into words. He wasn’t sure if telling Jared he tried to kill himself was a good idea. Jared might flip out. Or tell him to leave, but part of him wanted Jared to know. And that is the part of him that has morals the part of him that knows lying isn’t right. And avoiding the topic wouldn’t work either if Jared wanted to know he would just ask again.
“Yeah training. I decided to leave Dalgaard. I didn’t want to stay or even come back. But well after summoning a dragon, on accident. Having a fireball fight with it and getting headbutted. Then jumping off a cliff to kill myself. I realized I wanted to be here. So yeah.”He said quickly trying to see if Jared wouldn’t have got the part about him trying to kill himself.
He quickly looked away trying to avoid eye contact with Jared. He was afraid of what he would think, say, or do. He knew Jared heard every word clear as day. He couldn’t hind his facial expression. He was barely able to hold himself together. He almost went to kiss Jared before he could say a word, but he waited.
Jared’s eyebrow lifted at Ray’s response. He could tell that Ray wasn’t really “okay”. He wasn’t even close to it. Something was eating Ray up and Jared could only assume it had to do with them. He tilted his head lightly, concern running through him. “Ray, what’s wrong?” he inquired, knowing there was obviously a lot that Ray in fact was tip toeing around to avoid subjects. If Ray had tried to avoid the subject once more, Jared would drop it, but he knew Ray too well at this point to think he would just want to drop the subject no matter how serious or heart wrenching.
As the words flowed so freely from Ray’s mouth, Jared had to replay them in his mind before he actually got the gist of what was being said. Eyes widening towards the end of the sentence, he felt his breath hitch in his throat. “Y…..You tried to..k…kill yourself?” he asked, terrified of the answer that ensued. Ray’s trying to kill himself obviously would have been the product of Jared’s breaking up with him and blaming him for what happened to Rune… Jared’s heart sank. What would he have done had Ray killed himself on account of Jared’s irrational behaviour? “Ray…I’m so sorry…” he whispered, looking down to his hands as one single tear fell from his eyes. He was already losing Rune, he couldn’t lose Ray too.
Ray wasn’t sure what to respond to when Jared spoke. He wanted Jared to have his phone so he shrugged and laughed. He was glad to be a little help to Jared. Being friends was all Ray wanted. Making sure they would stay friends and be able to act normal around one another made him feel better.
He smiled about being called “Sunshine.” It made him feel like their friendship would last a while. Ray had decided that he would call Jared, his name. Due to the fact that Jared’s nickname for him wasn’t a friendship one. It was for naughty reasons.
Hearing Jared telling him that he forgave him for what had happened made Ray smile. He felt a little better. Feeling relieved for sure. Ray didn’t want to tell Jared how he felt, only because he didn’t want Jared to get upset or become sad.
Ray’s everything had fallen apart. Ray lost Jared. He knew they would never get back together. He wanted them to get back together, but reality would hit him soon enough.
“I’m okay. Just school and training.” He lied
Jared was glad to see the smile light up Ray’s face, truly bringing out the second reason why Jared called him Sunshine. Although it was ironic since his name was Ray, Ray’s smile truly lit up his entire being unless he was faking it. This smile, however, was genuine and made Jared smile. It warmed his soul to know that Ray and he were still on speaking terms.
As Ray responded to Jared’s question, however, he could almost automatically tell that Ray still had feelings for him, and that he was trying his hardest to remain calm and collected; to seem cool about it all in order to make Jared happy. “Just okay..huh? Training?” he questioned, not knowing what sort of training Ray could possibly be talking about. He noticed the sadness and apology still lingering behind Ray’s eyes. His longing for Jared. Jared couldn’t just let him stand there awkwardly. He gestured for Ray to come closer, Jared standing to give Ray a real hug, being careful of his arm which, although it was in a temporary cast, was still in a very fragile and delicate state.
“Why don’t you take a seat?” Jared offered after the hug had broken and he smiled at Ray.
After hearing Jared say he didn’t have his phone Ray understood what was going on. Even though he was thinking that he could have used a phone from here, but he knew Jared probably wasn’t thinking to clearly. He was glad to see Jared smile. It made it easier to see him there laying in the bed. Ray’s stomach still hurt him, he felt like this was his fault. And the worrying look was all over his face.
“Fang was the one who found you. She was afraid that something a lot worse had happened. So when you get out I’ll send her to see you.” Ray said to Jared, “Well I got the rest of my stuff out of your dorm. Just so you know.”
Ray didn’t want to ask what happened or who did this. He knew it would only make him upset and act out. Ray needed to stop being stupid. He wanted everything to be okay and work out with him and Jared. Whether or not they were together or not. Ray knew Jared was a good person for him and he needed that. Friends were more important to have then trying to force a relationship.
“Well I came by to say sorry for that night. I didn’t mean to act out. I just wanted to fix us and maybe stay friends. I know you have a lot to worry about, but I am not asking for us to be Doctor Sunshine,” he chuckled, “I just need to know that we can be friends. I know that with Rune gone you, may not what anything to do with me. I just wanted to try.”
Ray lend over and kissed Jared’s forehead. Ray’s eyes begin to water, but he stop himself from crying. Ray smiled at Jared, while taking his hand holding it within two seconds Jared’s phone was in between their hand. He knew Jared had a few people he wanted to talk to.
Ray waited to see if Jared wanted him to stay or leave, before moving away from Jared.
Jared smiled at the mentioning of Fang’s name and the fact that she had been the one to lead Ray to the hospital. It made sense to Jared after hearing that fact, how exactly it was that Ray had found him. “Well, Fang and you both can rest assured that I’m alright,” Jared explained, trying to make less of the situation than necessary. As Ray explained to him that he’d removed the rest of his things from Jared’s dorm, Jared felt both relieved and sad within the same moment. He was sad that the two had ended up like this, but at the same time, it was Rune’s misfortunes that caused Jared to finally realize that he had feelings for Rune and that, although he did love Ray, he couldn’t really see things working out in the long run. He wasn’t entirely sure why but it’s what his heart and his gut were both telling him.
He swallowed, attempting a smile before nodding and dropping his eyes to his feet at the end of his hospital bed. “Alright,” was all he could really get out. He didn’t want Ray to think he was excited that he was leaving, nor did he want to lead Ray to believing that they could attempt to work things out. Their time together was done but if Ray decided to stick around, Jared was more than willing to stay friends with him. The two had got along right away after all.
Jared was never really one to hold grudges, nor could he particularly stay angry at one person for an extended period of time. When Ray apologized as sincerely as possible, and Jared could tell just by looking in his eyes how serious and sincere he really was, Jared pulling his lips into a smile and nodded. “Of course we can still be friends, and although there probably won’t be a ‘Doctor Sunshine’ I’m still calling you Sunshine, if you don’t mind. I think it fits perfectly with your real name…That and it’s sort of a force of habit. Well, I was in the wrong for blaming you for that anyways, Ray. Rune getting shot wasn’t really your fault. It was Trevor… but, it’s alright.”
When Ray leaned over and kissed Jared’s forehead, he smiled, reaching his right hand up to touch Ray’s cheek in order to thank him for the apology and understanding. When he felt the cold plastic being pressed into his hand, he let out a soft chuckle. “You didn’t have to,” he replied. As he noticed Ray making attempt to question whether or not he should leave by lingering towards the doorway, Jared cocked his head lightly. “How is everything, Ray?” he questioned.
Ray went up to Jared’s dorm and wondering where he was. He looked in the room not knowing where he is. He knew he wasn’t at work. Ray was confused and didn’t know where to go or look. Ray thought there for a few minutes. He then decided to summon Fang. He told Fang to find Jared.
Fang headed out the door and darted down the hall. Ray rushed after her. He yelled at Fang asking where she was headed. She snarled. Not happy she was worried. She had a second scent to realized she was going to the hospital. Ray quickly realized they were standing in front of the hospital.
Ray slowly walked inside. He had a weird feeling that something had happened to Jared. Ray approached the desk asking for Jared Harrington’s room. They told him where he was located. Ray made his way there.
He could barely hold himself together. He was worried. He thought to himself please let him be okay. Once Ray found the door to Jared’s room he stood there.
“Does he even want to see me? Would he be mad?” he asked under his breath.
Ray decided to open the door and walk in. He saw Jared looking at the door seeing him. Ray’s eyes went straight to the cast not even seeing Jared’s facial expression. Ray stood there frozen at the door. He wasn’t sure if he should say anything or do something. He felt a little better that Jared was okay besides his arm or hand.
Ray finally got his body to move closer to Jared. Ray didn’t say anything he just looked at Jared afraid to be there. Wondering if he wanted him to leave or stay. Ray just wanted to kiss him, hold him, love him, or something.
“Jared, I… I don’t know what I am suppose to say or do here. I just wanted to see you.” He said.
Jared hadn’t gotten much sleep, spending most of the time he was laying in his hospital bed either reading, or flicking through the channels on the television across the room from him. It was Wednesday morning and he was scheduled to have his surgery done that night. Currently, his hand was wrapped thoroughly in a lot of bandages covered by a temporary cast that was quickly put on simply to keep the hand steady and the pressure on it to avoid any more blood loss.
Jared, not having his phone on him, didn’t expect for anyone to really notice his absence or go looking for him so he most certainly wasn’t expecting any visitors. As Ray walked into the room, however, Jared was obviously proven otherwise. He was taken aback, blue eyes widening at the site before Jared attempted a small smile.
He watched Ray’s eye movement to his arm, his eyes filled with grief and sympathy. “How’d you find me?” he questioned, simply curious. He was still a bit tired so the thought of Ray using his summoned animals to help him wasn’t even a thought floating through his mind at that moment. As Ray spoke, Jared nodded and shrugged. “I appreciate the thought, Ray. It was very kind of you to visit. The paramedics picked me up last night so I don’t have my phone or any of my contacts with me in order to tell anyone otherwise I would have contacted you,” he explained.
He heard the gun shot, his hand being shattered while Jared’s ears were filled with a ringing sensation. Sky’s frantic eyes were filled with emotion as he pulled the bullet out of Jared’s hand. The dark eyes were filled with mostly fear and sorrow. Jared looked down to find where the bullet had penetrated his hand’s fragile skin. As the reality slowly began to set in, his body was found to be shaking profusely, only Jared didn’t notice in the slightest. The smell of irony blood filled his nose, and his heart picked up it’s pace. His mind was so furious, he had to remind himself to breathe. The wound was bleeding profusely after the bullet had been retrieved by it’s administrator and Jared’s right hand held the left tightly in attempt to minimize the blood flow. A light headed sensation set in as the reality finally grasped Jared’s mind. Time passed slowly, and yet so quickly at the same time… Dorm neighbor’s faces, blurred but still somewhat recognizable. Finally, the medics arrived before Jared’s reality faded into unconsciousness.
To say Skylar was getting frustrated would be an understatement. He was annoyed, and wanted nothing more than too just grab this person’s shoulders and shake them until they stopped listening and started hearing what it was he was saying. Fucking moron. It wasn’t like Skylar wasn’t talking or explaining things! He even thought he’d done a good job of not tripping over anything he said. He was sure his face was contorted in a way that made him looked right pissed off from the way the other boy responded to him.
“Yes. That’s what I’m saying!” He practically yelled at the other male. “Maybe, though, maybe it’s good she can’t remember certain things. Like I don’t know. You.” The last word was full on contempt. It wasn’t that Skylar minded Celia being with Jared when it had happened, what he minded was Jared toying with her emotions from going on and cheating on her with some random bloke. No one deserved that kind of treatment, especially not Celia. But just because you forgot all the bad things in your life, didn’t mean that was good. There were lots of things Skylar would like to forget – the night his father tried to murder him was clearly on the top of the list by a long kilometer – but that didn’t mean that he’d really actually want to. People were like glass. They reflected realty so much better when they were cracked and shattered, the lines carving out their grasp on the will to live.
“I didn’t say it was your fault.” Skylar screamed at him without managing to actually scream. It was grave and hard and the words felt like hail coming out of his mouth, cold and rough. He was starting to get pushed to the edge of dealing with this conversation. Sometime between that line and his next, “I said I wanted you to fix it.” His arms were back to being locked in front of him, right hand shaking a bit, the left under the butt of the gun as a stabilizer.
Jared quickly stiffened as the other male’s voice was raised, obviously furious with everything that was happening and Jared’s lack of decent communication. He’d obviously over thought everything and now the barrel of the gun was pointing straight towards him. This male could easily shoot him, injuring him or possibly killing him with the simple flick of his finger on the trigger. Jared found himself gritting his teeth tightly and swallowing, putting his hands up once again. He had to remain calm, possibly talk some sense into the other boy. He calmly stood up, his mind intently focusing on the other males, prepared to evade the shot if he needed to. Looking at the gun, it seemed as though the other male had a silencer on it, however… But from what Jared could tell, despite his lack of extensive knowledge in guns, the silencer was for a different model.
“Look, there’s no need to be hasty…” he started calmly, looking intently into the dark eyes of the other male who was obviously frustrated and scared but he had adrenaline rushing through him now, and who knew what that would bring upon the both of them. “But you have to believe me… when I tell you. I.. I can’t fix it,” he finally told him, shaking his head before the other males facial expression grew darker. The next part happened so quickly, Jared couldn’t even begin to fathom what had just happened. It was as if he were in a nightmare brought upon by what had happened to Rune not two or three days before. Jared found himself frightened during that moment in their interactions that he panicked his powers taking over the situation causing a bullet to fly straight through his hand between his middle finger and ring finger’s knuckles on his left hand. The shot was loud despite the silencer, his ears ringing from the sound. Jared found himself on his knees, checking himself for bullet wounds around his chest and arms but not finding any there. There was no pain, yet, until he noticed the blood dripping onto the floor and down his arm from his hand. He didn’t even notice the boy quickly sprinting out of the room, paying too much attention to trying to put pressure on the bullet wound so as to not bleed out. A few other boys from dorms down the hall were quickly in Jared’s doorway, wide eyed and frantic. “I need to go to the hospital!” he told them quickly, eyes shutting tightly as the pain from the wound continued to pulsate an indescribable pain up his arm. It wasn’t long after that a pair of medics that had luckily already been on campus ran in and carried him out on a stretcher, applying even more pressure to keep his blood loss down.
Skylar felt his body stiffen when Jared mentioned Celia’s name. He wasn’t sure if the other boy had somehow pulled that out of his head, or managed to come to that conclusion that fast on his own. But he was right either way. He stiffled a growl that came to him when the older boy mentioned the word ‘amnesia’, Skylar knew better, this wasn’t something as dull as amnesia. This was forced. It had to have been. “I don’t want you to remove memories.” Skylar spat. “I want you to put them the hell back. Where they belong.”
He took a step, then another closer to the bed, but other than that didn’t really move the rest of his body. He could feel his eyes harden over a bit. This boy, this moron, didn’t understand how serious this was. “And yes. It’s about Celia.” He paused, not really getting the reaction he wanted, not really feeling that the other boy realized the gravity of what they were talking about right now. “Let me start with some back story then. Clearly you’re bloody cluelessness.” He took a breath and gritted his teeth before spitting. “She was fine on Saturday, all fine on Saturday. Didn’t see her after. She had a mission on Sunday, mine was Monday night. Tuesday afternoon, she couldn’t remember anything.” He glared at the other boy. “Not all the times we played lazer tag. Not being unable to walk. Not relearning how to walk. Not the nickname I came up with for her. Nothing about me. Nothing about herself. Nothing.” He took another step closer. “You will fix it.” The last line came out as practically a piece of verbal steel. Sky’s arm muscles were starting to twitch, and he could start to feel his elbows lock, but he didn’t move his arms, not yet anyway. Because really, he didn’t want to hurt this person unless he had to. He just wanted help. Was that really too much to ask for?
The reaction that came from this boy after he’d figured out it was about Celia was extremely surprising to Jared. His eyes grew so many emotions at once it was hard to decipher exactly how he felt, but one thing was for sure, something was most indefinitely wrong with Celia, and Jared was starting to get a bit scared himself. The boy’s gaze turned hard and angry when Jared tried to clarify the situation, realizing at his reaction that he had assumed Jared to be the cause of it all. As the boy nearly spat out the words, Jared finally began to fit all of the pieces together. Celia had lost her memory somehow, and this boy had been under the impression that because Jared had mind manipulation powers that he was the cause of it. That Celia had done something to Jared while this guy was away and Jared had fucked with her memories in order to get even. He was so wrong though, but Jared knew he couldn’t out and say that because then it would not only make him even more suspicious, but also he would seem too eager to have figured out what was wrong… He was at a loss of ideas for what he should do, so he decided to play it safe and clueless in order to possibly get some more information and be completely sure of the situation.
Furrowed eyebrows, and cocking his head to the side as the boy took a few steps towards him on the bed, he questioned the boy’s words once again. “Put them back? Wha.. Are you saying Celia’s lost her memories?” He was obviously getting impatient with Jared, explaining everything and insulting Jared in the process which normally would have irked him, but right now, Jared couldn’t be bothered with that kind of stuff. He couldn’t let bad things happen to Celia too.. Not with all the other shit going on right now. It was during the boy’s last sentence that Jared added the other component into the mix. This boy was not only best friends with Celia and overprotective of her but there was also a possibility that he liked her more than that also. If that wasn’t part of it, Jared was definitely losing his touch with reading people physically. He wanted Jared to fess up and fix it but Jared didn’t even do it in the first place… He didn’t think he’d have enough power to take them away, let alone putting them back.. He had no idea how to respond now. “Uh… Look, I know you’re upset and I know everything seems to point to me.. but you have to believe me when I say I have no idea what you’re talking about…” Jared got out, putting his hands up as if to prove he was innocent.